Jeremy and Cults that Kill (1988 book) - parts 1 & 2

Part 1: Originally posted on Tumblr on June 4, 2024.Part 2: Originally posted on Tumblr on July 14, 2024.

(Part 1)

Sources: the 1991 police report; jeremywadedelle.com 

I tried to go further than Ash and find out what copy Jeremy could have really had, and I went as far as contacting the actual author of the book, who unfortunately said this:

"There are  2  editions of Cults That Kill, a hardcover edition and a paperback version. Both were published in 1988 by Warner Books according to the copyright page. However in   2014 I took back the rights and re-published it myself on Amazon."

He attached pictures of the hardcover version (the one pictured above) and the paperback version (the black and purple one you see in the screenshot from Ash's website). Both were published in 1988 so... yeah, that was a fail!

At least I was glad to find that the Cults that Kill mention was factual (coming from the police report) and not another unsourced "fact" reported by The Jeremy Story. However, since I don't like to make posts about the Jeremy matter unless I really have something new to add, I'll give a little historical background as to why - I believe - Jeremy may have been interested in reading Cults that Kill and why the book was a success at the time. Because even though Ash, on his website, said that "[Jeremy] was also reading up on Satanism and Cults as many adolescents did in the past, and still do nowadays", I think there was something culturally bigger behind it.

The following research is the same one I made for a citation I put in PART 2 of No more "Later Days"... we ain't playing games around here!

Mass hysteria: the Satanic Panic

From Wikipedia (‘Satanic Panic’): “The Satanic panic is a moral panic consisting of over 12,000 unsubstantiated cases of Satanic ritual abuse (SRA, sometimes known as ritual abuse, ritualistic abuse, organized abuse, or sadistic ritual abuse) starting in the United States in the 1980s, spreading throughout many parts of the world by the late 1990s, and persisting today. The panic originated in 1980 with the publication of Michelle Remembers, a book [...] which used the discredited practice of recovered-memory therapy to make sweeping lurid claims about satanic ritual abuse [...]. The allegations, which afterwards arose throughout much of the United States, involved reports of physical and sexual abuse of people in the context of occult or Satanic rituals. In its most extreme form, allegations involve a conspiracy of a global Satanic cult that includes the wealthy and elite in which children are abducted or bred for human sacrifices, pornography, and prostitution. [...] The panic affected lawyers, therapists, and social workers who handled allegations of child sexual abuse. [...] By the late 1980s, therapists or patients who believed someone had suffered from SRA could suggest solutions that included Christian psychotherapy, exorcism, and support groups whose members self-identified as "anti-Satanic warriors". [...] In the 1990s, psychologist D. Corydon Hammond publicized a detailed theory of ritual abuse drawn from hypnotherapy sessions with his patients, alleging they were victims of a worldwide conspiracy of organized, secretive clandestine cells who used torture, mind control and ritual abuse to create alternate personalities that could be "activated" with code words. [...] Media coverage of SRA began to turn negative by 1987, and the "panic" ended between 1992 and 1995.”; 


From ksat.com (‘Explaining satanic panic: South Texas Crime Stories’): “Joseph Laycock, an associate professor of religious studies at Texas State University, spoke with reporter Erica Hernandez about the term satanic panic. “In the sixties, you began to have this concern about cults, that sort of cults had infiltrated America and were brainwashing people,” Laycock said. “[...] Then these groups trying to claim that Satanists are sort of seducing our children and taking over America. [...] So it began as kind of a conspiracy theory in the 1970s. And by the 1980s, this had reached the point where people were actually being accused of crimes and actually being, in some cases, convicted for it. [...] So what would happen is somebody would say, I know about Satanism, and usually this would just be some weirdo who had no actual credentials [...] and for $1,000 I will run a seminar to train police, [...] And they would always give out sort of these are satanic symbols to be on the lookout for. And it would always be, you know, like the ACDC logo or sort of different like heavy metal bands that people were interested in the eighties or even things like yin yangs or, you know, crescent moons and things like that. But the attitude of the police was kind of, well, this must be a serious problem, because why else am I spending my weekends, you know, listening to all of this? So that also was a factor that kind of amped up that satanic panic.”.

Jeremy himself ended up in trouble when Cults that Kill was found during a locker search. Also, Faye Barnett, his English teacher, remembered (pages 9, 25-26 of the police report) one day she had found an unsigned note which appeared to be "satanic in nature", and which she thought Jeremy may had written, though there was no proof for it:

It is unclear whether the note mentioned in these two parts was the same one, but it doesn't change the fact that even these statements from the police report confirm that the Satanic Panic was very present when Jeremy was alive; and that this may have been the reason why not only Jeremy was interested in reading about it, but that it was also what got his  - I believe innocent - interest mistaken for something to be worried about; as even ssheps, in the section 'The Interview - Interview with RHS Employee Regarding Jeremy' of his website, mentioned: 

Maybe you already knew about this, maybe you didn't... learning about history never hurts!

Waterfall

(Part 2)

I may come late to the party but I finished reading Cults That Kill and I took some notes. I also watched a couple of videos regarding the Satanic Panic (of which I spoke in Part 1) and crimes perpetrated by Satanic cults, and I did it because I wanted to find an answer to these questions I had:

1) Why was Cults That Kill seen by the school as controversial, when they found it in Jeremy's locker during one of the searches?

2) Why was Jeremy interested in reading a book like that?

3) Did the deer leg found in his locker have any connection to the book? If so, what was the point of that deer leg?

These are the questions I'll try to answer, as usual by citing my sources (the chapters or page numbers of Cults That Kill from which I got my info will be written between brackets). I would like to thank my friend and helper Epiphany for telling me some theories of hers which helped me build this article and also added a question to my list: 4) Was Jeremy involved in any way with Satanism? 

We'll start from the beginning.

1) Inverted crosses

One thing Cults That Kill does not fail to constantly mention, is that one of the symbols of Satanism is the inverted cross, which represents the rejection of Christianity (55, 56). We know of a link between Jeremy and this symbol, and it can be found in the 1991 police report: 

I'll explain later why, I believe, the cross was on the left side of his body and not on the right one. For now, I'll just limit myself to reporting the question I had when I remembered about this, but to get you to understand my point, I need you to fill you in on some info. All the following info can be found in Cults That Kill.

Towards the beginning of the 80s, a book called Michelle Remembers was published. The book was the result of a cooperation between a psychiatrist and his patient who, through the practice of repressed memory recovery, remembered she had been abused by Satanists during her childhood (source). That sparked fear and paranoia among many which increased exponentially during the years: children who didn't know each other were telling therapists and police officers about the same brutal and horrifying stories of rituals, animal and human sacrifices and child sexual abuse perpetrated by groups of Satanists (Chapter 12). A couple of police officers started to notice symbols like inverted crosses and pentagrams on crime scenes, black candles, circles drawn on the ground with a triangle drawn to the side, and many more things which were different from the crime scenes they had seen before. They started taking notes and making their own manual about Satanic-related crime scenes and they tried to convince their bosses and colleagues that what was happening was real: they were the laughing stock of many for years, until similar cases started popping up all over the country and they started receiving dozens of phone calls by colleagues who wanted to know what they were looking at (Chapters 1-3).

Scandals about Satanic circles involving schools in prostituting children of unaware parents rose to the media (Chapter 12). The tv was talking about it, newspapers were talking about it (Chapter 10) and police officers were holding classes advising parents to look out for psychological and physical signs their children may have been involved with Satanism - they even advised to be on the lookout for heavy metal bands, which notoriously used Satanic drawings on the cover of their albums, and for the 'horn' symbol made by raising the index and the pinky finger, commonly associated with metal music and which, according to experts, was a symbol of the Devil (Chapter 11).


As you can read, the situation was spiraling out of control. Everybody was freaking out about Satanists hiding among the normal, Christian people (Chapter 9) and people were actually getting arrested because they were linked to crimes which were thought to be involved with Satanism (source).

Now, in such a social freakout, would you imagine Jeremy going around in summer, maybe to the pool, happily and proudly displaying the tattoo of an inverted cross on his chest?

"We had been noticing that many of the juveniles [...] had insignias on their jacket and clothes - inverted crosses [...]. I said to Cleo, [...] "This is evil. This is Exorcist shit." That movie scared the living piss out of me. Being a Catholic it scared me."(10-12)
"There are police officers out there who [...] are born-again Christians who believe it's their mission in life to stamp out Satanism [...] They are on a religious crusade."(36-38)

No, me neither. I mean, Jeremy was notorious for wanting to grab attention in any possible way, but I don't imagine him willingly putting himself up with such dangerous, unwanted attention. I believe he got that tattoo when he could easily hide it, but when exactly?

In 2013, my friend Epiphany managed to speak to a friend of Jeremy from Richardson High School. I was given permission to quote but not to release the full conversation or the name of this person, as Epiphany is unfortunately not in contact with them anymore and she's unsure wether they would be okay with having their name and full conversation released or not. 

DISCLAIMER: The person giving out this info is a (now) woman who attended Richardson High School with her older brother. They were both friends with Jeremy.
I conducted a background search and I was able to find records that prove the existence of this woman; I also checked her social media and one of the people who commented one of her pictures was a friend of Michelle and Jeremy at Timberlawn. She is also listed as a witness in the 1991 police report.

Here's what Jeremy's friend said: "I don't know what they [Jeremy's tattoos] meant. He drew a devil on his chest. He showed that to me. I don't remember seeing his tattoos."

If she saw Jeremy's drawing on his chest, she must have seen the inverted cross tattoo as well. If she didn't see that tattoo, it must mean he got it at a later time, maybe during winter of 1990 and not fall. Or it could also be that she genuinely didn't remember (22 years had passed from Jeremy's death when this conversation took place).

So, a tattoo of an inverted cross and also Jeremy drawing, of all things, a devil on his chest in the middle of the Satanic Panic? And finding Cults That Kill, which talks about Satanism, in his locker? It could be a coincidence, or maybe not.

2) A "Satanic in nature" note

I'll post again screenshots of a certain note which was "Satanic in nature" and which Faye Barnett, Jeremy's English teacher, found on her desk: 

According to her testimony, this happened around the beginning of December 1990. There is no proof that Jeremy wrote it, just a suspicion, though if it was really him, one could suppose he got interested in Satanism around this time and it could also be that he was also reading Cults That Kill around this time, because... a "goats head drawn in the center of the page"? Where have I seen that before? 

Oh right, on the cover of Cults That Kill. Sounds like a note from a kid who was easily influenced by what he was reading at the time, doesn't it?

7 is not a Satanic number to my knowledge, it wasn't mentioned in Cults That Kill unless we're talking about the seven Santeria gods, but Santeria is a hispanic and black religion so I don't think it had anything to do with Jeremy. Maybe the number 7 was just the date, December 7, who knows.

3) Why was Jeremy interested in Satanism?

Surprisingly, Cults That Kill explained this for me too, which, as someone who is really interested in psychology and understanding why people do certain things, is something I am really grateful for.

CHAPTER FIVE: THE THREE FACES OF SATAN
"RELIGIOUS REQUIREMENTS AND PRACTICES OF CERTAIN SELECTED GROUPS - A HANDBOOK FOR CHAPLAINS [...] To the Satanist, the self is the highest embodiment of human life and is sacred. The Church of Satan is essentially a human potential movement and members are encouraged to develop whatever capabilities they can by which they might excel."(67, 70)
"THE NINE SATANIC STATEMENTS - 1. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence! [...] 4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates! 5. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek! [...] "The Church of Satan stands as a gathering point for all those who believe in what the Christian Church opposes, and members are generally hostile to its teachings and resultant behavior patterns."(71, 72)
"He said, "I don't have to study for it. I will just tell Satan that I am going to take the test, and I will pass it." I said, "Well, why haven't you taken it yet?" He said, "Well, I've got a few more things to do to prepare, but whatever you tell Satan to do, he will do. He is powerful."""[...] Satanism [...] is about one thing - power. Power over yourself, power over others, power over your surroundings. [...] I like the fact that you don't grovel, you don't kneel and ask God for things. [...] I ask Satan what I want! I don't beg some God that you can't see. Can I see Satan? You bet. Look at all the sickness, hurt, and warfare in the world. That's Satan. If there really was a God, and he's supposed to be so good, why does he let all these bad things happen? I'll tell you why. Because Satan takes charge here on earth, and God takes care of heaven. All good little people will go to heaven when they die. That's nice. I'm going to hell where I'm going to continue indulging myself. So, while you're being good so you can go to heaven after you die, I'm going to keep on enjoying myself here on earth and again in hell. Who's having a better time, me or you?"(84-86)
"The third category would be the youth subculture. [...] these kids may be playing with it more than anything else. A small percentage will carry it beyond that level. These kids are often influenced by heavy metal music. [...] The kids who go beyond the normal curiosity tend to be those who have other behavior problems going on – problems in school, with peers, at home, and of course they have that desire for power and control. [...]""I got into Satanism about three years ago through some friends at school. [...] What I like about Satanism is the power that it gives me. The people at school know I'm into it, and they don't mess with me. It gives me the power to escape the police when I have to. [...] It also gives me the feeling that I can do anything I put my mind to. The other religions don't teach that. They teach you to be humble and love one another. Why should I love anyone else? All people want is to get as much as they can. That's the way life is. Satanism has taught me about life. It helps you grow up.""I ask kids how they get into satanism, and they tell me, I've read the Christian Bible. It tells me don't do this, don't do this, don't do this. It says everything I do is wrong, and if I live by that I'm going to burn in hell. I've read the Satanic Bible, and it says I can do anything I want. [...] If I live by that Bible, I'm going to rule in hell. [...] These kids have no sense of a forgiving God. If you have done something wrong, you've had it. There is no going back. I think a lot of the music portrays that. [...] To many kids it starts out as a fad.""We do have a profile of someone who joins Satanic groups [...]: loner, above average IQ, underachiever, strivers for control and power, takes drugs, preoccupation with death [...]. Of course doing one, two, or even three of these things don't make you a Satanist. It's more like the other way around. Satanists, especially teens, have these characteristics."(87-93)
CHAPTER ELEVEN: THE GAMBLE MURDER
"[...] school officials were finding all kinds of Satanic symbols in his locker. He was making a big deal about letting everyone know that he was involved with Satanism.""In school, he would always be telling us about Satan, and how it had helped him and how it gave him power. [...] It worked, too. The girls would be calling him all the time. They were curious about exactly what he was doing."(189, 190)"I'm not saying that anyone will just read The Satanic Bible and kill someone, but remember, you have to look at this from the mind of a fifteen-year-old. He doesn't understand what's real and what's imagery. Kids take things literally."(191)

Kids will be kids. If everybody is freaking out about something, you, as a kid, tend to get curious about that something, especially if it's something secret, mysterious, something that society rejects and fears. In this part of your life you are becoming your own person by slowly detaching yourself from and rebelling against your parents, so you'll naturally be drawn to something they would absolutely not want you to get in contact with. And that’s the reason number one why Jeremy could have gotten interested in something like Satanism.

Number two, Jeremy was said to be an atheist.

Becoming an atheist in a very conservative and Christian society like 1990 Texas must have felt like something really rebellious. Kids who go through a lot tend to reject the idea of God because they cannot believe there could ever be a God who, contrary to what religion teaches, just doesn’t care about the suffering of his own sons and daughters. They cannot accept the idea of constantly praying, begging, to a God to help them and see their life only getting worse: that’s when they come to the conclusion that God doesn’t exist. 

Now, when kids reject their family's religion during adolescence, they usually go through a phase in which they draw Satanic symbols or make Satanic remarks, but more because it feels rebellious than because there's actual meaning to it. I mean, I personally have yet to meet someone who stopped believing in god during adolescence and didn't draw a few pentagrams or inverted crosses on notebooks because it felt cool and rebellious. Again, kids will be kids. And that’s reason number two why Jeremy could have gotten interested in Satanism.

Reason number three, as you may have guessed yourself while reading the excerpts of Cults That Kill that I posted above, is that Jeremy must have felt welcome. If you’re someone who’s lost and angry at the world, begging anybody to just give you a little bit of love and attention, you’ll be delighted to read that there’s an actual religion in which you matter, in which you and your well-being come before everything else; a religion whose God could give you anything you demand (and not beg) for; a religion that everyone else fears and which could give you not only the respect, but also the attention you so badly crave for. And I mean, you’re a fifteen-year-old boy, wouldn’t you be delighted with the idea of getting the attention of girls for doing weird, occultist things? 

I personally believe this third reason is the strongest one, the one that convinced Jeremy to get interested in Satanism. But… was he just rebelling or did he actually convert from atheism to Satanism? Is there anything more that can make one think he did approach Satanism during his last months?

Yes, yes there is.

4) The deer (?) leg

The deer leg was found when the school searched Jeremy’s locker in mid-December 1990, but it was still there in January 1991. Here's what everyone had to say: 

See, in Cults That Kill (Chapters 7, 9) it is explained that Satanists believe they can gain power from sacrificing different beings, humans or animals, and that the power varies from the subject and body part used. For example, sacrificing people is said to give more power than animals. The body parts commonly cut and used for rituals are the head, heart, left hand, genitalia. Sacrificed animals (mentioned in the book) are: horses, bulls, cows, dogs, calves, pigs, chickens, birds, cats, rabbits and goats. There is only one mention of a deer (found in the insert of pictures in the middle of the book, around Chapter 7, the chapter dedicated to Hispanic witchcraft):

CHAPTER SEVEN: HISPANIC WITCHCRAFT
"The decapitated deer was found near a school [...]. An inverted cross was spray-painted on the carcass [...]. The condition of the dead animal was consistent with that of animals often used in occult sacrifices."

Except for that, there was not a single mention of deers being sacrificed, let alone animal legs being used. So that got me thinking: what if it was never a deer leg to begin with?

That makes much more sense. Take everything we've analyzed so far and put it together: it would make sense to assume the reason why the animal leg was in Jeremy's locker, was because he was planning to use it in a ritual; and if you see it this way, it would also make sense to assume the leg was really a goat's

Steele Shepherd and the person he interviewed (ssheps.com, section: 'The Interview - Interview with RHS Employee Regarding Jeremy') felt the same about the leg, too.

Why would Jeremy want to try a ritual? Well, for the reasons explained above: a lot of kids, from the "dabblers" category, approached (I’m using the past tense because I’m referring to the the book and the situation in the 80s/early 90s) Satanism from a situation of desperation: they felt powerless over their own lives, maybe they were even being bullied or mistreated by the people around them. They heard or read that some people believed that Satan could give them all they wanted, immediately, without having to beg, so they decided to give it a try and do a ritual themselves. It wasn't really out of malice, therefore, but out of desperation: I believe that's what went through Jeremy's mind when he decided to give Satanism a try. 

Still, we can assume he didn't believe too much in all that, otherwise I think we would have heard of more people telling about him and Satanism (unless they wanted to protect him in some way):

"Talking to this group of kids was probably the hardest thing we had ever done. [...] They lied for each other constantly."(10-12)

Also, of all things he could have chosen for a ritual, he chose an animal leg, which, in the world of Satanism, holds very little if zero power, and that could be another indicator that he wasn't really serious about it. 

I really have no idea how Jeremy got that leg - maybe he found it somewhere, maybe he or a friend went hunting (he did lie to people saying he had been given a pistol, for hunting, some time in December 1990) or maybe he bought it in some kind of shop, maybe a butcher's or something.

The fact that he had the leg hanging in his locker in plain sight makes me think he wasn't planning on using it any time soon, and that, maybe, all he really wanted was for people to see it and think he was a Satanist, so they would either admire him or leave him alone. Which reminds me of…

[Quoting Chris from Austin, in one of the e-mails he exchanged with Ash, admin of jeremywadedelle.com]"He was drawn to things that caught the attention of others. Maybe there was something mentioned to a kid at his High School when being bullied, that he'd bring his CHS [Confederate HammerSkins] pals over to have his back and dole out some beatings? I have no idea, I am internally laughing if so...I am however quite certain that there were no CHS pals. That one kind of stung me and made me think about how many fabricated "this one time" stories there must be about him, that are just flat out made up?"

Which reminds me of when Jeremy lied about having Confederate Hammerskin friends in order to scare off kids who were giving him a hard time. I imagine he used Satanism in this regard, too, also because if you're an atheist, like some people stated he was, and which means you just can't believe there is a god, you can't really believe in Satan either, can you?

5) Left side of the body

Another thing that got me thinking is that thirteen is a number mentioned in Cults That Kill (Chapter 8), and it's the number of people who are usually present during a Satanic ritual. However, I wouldn’t stretch things that far, since there are several theories as to why Jeremy had a number 13 tattooed on his left hand but no certain one. The Jeremy Story said that when the boy was arrested in December 1990, the police noted his arm tattoo. You would think they would also mention the tattoo on his hand if they saw it, yet they didn’t, so maybe Jeremy got it at a later time? Who knows. Again, the source is The Jeremy Story, so take it with a grain of salt.  

Anyway, I do know of a tattoo that Jeremy got before September 1990, and that's his arm tattoo, which apparently (source is The Jeremy Story) was on the left side of his body. 

[From Jeremy's September 1990 letter sent to his friend Chris from Austin (courtesy of Ash)]"My fucked up "tats" will remind me of you. I truly only put it on my arm to impress you. At the time I was just trying to fit in."

Cults That Kill said:

"The girl behind the counter had a "666" tattooed on one boob and an upside-down cross on the other."(23)"Some members are marked with tattoos of Satanic symbols on the left side of the body."(84)"Kasso had an inverted cross tattooed on his arm [...]. He had stolen a skull and left hand from a corpse."(178)"In Satanic religion, there's an important difference between the right and left side of the body. When you die, the left side of the body is for Satan; the right side is for God."(179)"Left path: Generally thought to be the Devil's path, or wrong side of God. The Catholic Church in medieval times thought left-handed people did the Devil's work."(255)

I... don't really think Jeremy got his tattoos on the left side of his body because it was a reference to Satan or whatever (there could be a million reasons why), but I do think the inverted cross on his left chest was there for that reason

Regarding Jeremy’s beliefs, I personally theorize that, like a lot of teenagers, he got interested in Satanism because it was a forbidden topic. I also think he approached it during the last months or weeks of his life because his mental health was getting much worse and on one side, he really wanted to believe he could magically gain power over his own life; but on the other side, being an atheist he didn't really believe in it so the least he could do was to pretend he was a Satanist in order to scare off some people, or maybe look cooler in the eyes of some others.

"You can often tell how deep someone is into the occult by the things they have. That separates the dabblers from the self-style Satanists from the organized folks. If you are curious about the subjects you don't go out and buy all the robes, chalices and so on. That stuff is expensive. If you're just dabbling you don't buy the expensive items. Another indication is books. People who have a lot of books are serious. It takes a lot of effort to study books."(92)

As always, I try my best to show you my reasoning and hypothesis, you are always welcome to speculate and tell me your personal interpretation of the facts, I would be interested in reading it.

CLOSING THE CHAPTER OF SATANIC PANIC

Was there any truth behind the Satanic Panic or was it all just fake?

Well, there is proof that there were people actually attempting rituals, kidnapping and sexually abusing children and whatnot. The point is, these cases were much less than what the media made it out to be, and most of the time actual Satanists had nothing to do with those cases. In fact, Cults That Kill explains that Satanism was just an excuse for a lot of criminals and abhorrent individuals to do horrible stuff and not have the police investigate on the matter too much, because every religion (Satanism included) in America is protected by the First Amendment, which grants freedom of religion. Furthermore, you have to consider the fact that a lot of people tend to use religion as a moral lifeboat - for instance, someone who kills somebody in the name of Satan may not feel as guilty as they would if they had killed a person for no reason; in the same exact way some Christian people feel justified in telling horrible things to other people ("Being gay is against nature, you're going to hell") because apparently their religion justifies it.

As for children confessing to having been victims of Satanic rituals, some cases were certainly true, unfortunately, but others were just children being suggested the answer by therapists and policemen interrogating them, and not telling the story on their own.

So, in short: the Satanic Panic was a real phenomenon with a real basis. It spiraled into a proper panic because of the influence of the media and people wanting to see connections that often weren’t even there - like thinking that AC/DC stands for Anti Christ Devil Child. 

And no, I wish I made that one up.

Waterfall 


BIBLIOGRAPHYKahaner, Larry. Cults That Kill: Probing the underworld of occult crime. Warner Books, 1988. (Hardcover)
SITOGRAPHYMcMartin preschool trial (Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia)Satanic panic, (Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia)
VIDEOGRAPHY[VHS] Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults - (1994)Mary survived satanic cult ritualsSatanic Cults and Ritual Crime [VHS] [1990] [Satanic Panic]